THINGS ABOUT ME
I smile at and (situation permitting) say hello to people I walk past.
Welome to My Personal Development Story
(The Sort-of-Short Version)
If you're anything like me, you struggle to remember both names and (if you didn't write it down) what you were asked to do 5 minutes ago. So, in case you forgot it or you just missed it completely, my name is Jess :)
To get the role stuff out of the way, I am a mum, wife, daughter, in-law, granddaughter, aunt, niece, sister, soul sister, kindred spirit, friend, confidant, some random chick, and (of course) a personal development coach.
For me, the journey to becoming a personal development coach started a long, long time ago. It started when I started my own personal development and
Realistically personal development starts the day we are born, but I started consciously working on my personal development in my
late teens/early twenties.
In my late teens and for pretty much all of my twenties, I felt like I didn’t know who I was, who I wanted to be, or how to work it out. Unsurprisingly, feeling like this made actually being me rather difficult. It also made looking in for guidance on who and how to be feel pretty pointless, so I looked out instead.
Sometimes I felt like I nailed it (although I now know that at times I definitely didn't), but most of the time I’d walk away from an interaction or situation thinking either:
What was that? or Who are you?
Overall, I was unsure of myself, uncomfortable in myself, and I think that for most of the time I didn’t really like myself. And it certainly made for a confusing situation.
On one side I was in the trap of worrying far too much about everyone else's expectations of me, or what I thought everyone else's expectations were of me, and (illogically) basing my self-worth on external validation. I sought the approval of others. You know:
If others like me, I must be a good person.
That sort of thing.
But on the other side, I believe because I felt about myself the way that I did, and of course real or perceived expectations can be conflicting, I had (sometimes rather long) moments of really not being the best version of myself, so approval from both others and myself wasn't forthcoming.
I often felt disempowered, and I lacked self-worth. But what was worse than lacking self-worth was that I didn’t actually value having self-worth. I mean, what did it matter what I thought of myself if others didn’t like me,
or things didn’t work out for me?
Whilst I could argue the reason for trying to live up to real or perceived expectations of me and basing my self-worth on external validation, deep down I knew that something was off about this strategy, like I was setting myself up to fail on some level. So I started taking steps to get to know myself better.
Then, in my mid-thirties, just after my daughter had started finding her feet (but all too frequently found floors that were much less clean than I would've liked),
my focus on my personal development and self-worth intensified.
I had already come a long way, but I was still fighting some internal battles. I felt like I still had a lot to figure out about who I was and wanted to be, and I still experienced times of feeling not overly comfortable being what parts of me I had figured out. And, whilst I knew that I had so much to be grateful for, I was a bit of a lost soul. As much as I desperately wanted one, I didn't know what my passion was.
It was at this time that I undertook the EP7® Program
(Empowered for Purpose in 7 Steps).
Completing the EP7® Program was an absolute turning point for me in my personal and self-worth development.
For me, working through the 7-step process (particularly the situations where I felt disempowered) allowed me to begin learning a lot about myself, and I quickly started to see a connection between when I felt disempowered and when I was basing my self-worth on external validation.
What I learned about myself helped me shift feelings of disempowerment into empowerment in given situations, but it also encouraged me to reflect on how I defined and sought validation for my self-worth. It helped inform how I wanted to define and validate my self-worth moving forward. Overall, I started to feel like I was getting to know and be my true self.
Since then, personal and self-worth development has (spoiler alert!) become my passion. Yes, after an arduous battle with the concept of passion, and it taking me rather a long time to acknowledge that the thing that I've been working on for years and keep going back to is in fact my passion, I worked out my passion!
It may have taken me a while to be able to name my passion, but what became very clear to me even before I finished working through the EP7® Program was that I want to help other women who find themselves in a similar place to the place I've been in (and sometimes still visit). So after completing the EP7® Program as a client, I worked to become an EP7®-Certified coach.
Whilst it has taken time and work on myself to be able to bring you Be You Personal Development Coaching, it has been a journey worth taking. Because now, in our work together, I can bring you me so that you feel comfortable being you!